I want, I hate
by Danica Loy
Summary: Oneshot Envy has lived for over 400 years.He's seen many things, knows how to dodge and bend and break the rules of these pathetic humans.But there is something that Envy could never grasp in his life.The one thing Envy truly wants...the reason he hate


Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Full-metal Alchemist. If I did, Envy would not't have gone through the gate; he would have stayed and protected Wrath.

Now, please Enjoy!

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**I want, I hate...**

_By: Danica Loy_

The thunder of footsteps crushed one after another down the stretch of sidewalk. It was cracked and worn from the many pedestrians whom had walked the path so many times before. Now it was walked on by a being, which looked like a boy no older than eighteen years, wild dark green hair swayed around him, like the tropical leaves of a palm trees. They hid the murderous look within his amethyst eyes that stared out at the numerous yet random humans walking about, hugging their thick layers of clothing close to their bodies, trying to repel the brisk cool winds; a sign that winter was fast upon them. Some young human girls wrapped up in their warm clothes, also sought more as the huddled close to their boyfriends, who wrapped his arm around her waist, protecting her from the winter enemy. Little did any of these seemingly happy couples know that they were watched by a lonely pair of violet eyes; a pair that has seen it too often for too long, and he was sick of it!

Damn it all!

Everywhere I go. I see it all the time. These pathetic humans strolling care-freely down the streets. They don't care who they're with or who they bump into, because sooner or later they will separate and go their own ways. Pathetic simpletons! They have no sympathy for the little things that is supposed to make their meaningless existences worthwhile.

I hate them.

Look at them, strolling hand in hand. Violet eyes watch from a nearby alley way, where his body is safely hidden by the shadows, where an abomination like him belongs. There across the street outside a quaint florist shop a young man smiles with a pretty girl wrapped in his arms. They stare at each other. She laughs. Apparently, he just said something amusing. But he just smiles, enthralled with the sight before him, like he can see an infinite twilight sky with her eyes. Violet eyes just narrowed as a low growl released from his throat. They could see what she was thinking; they had seen it many times before. It's always the same. Counting down the seconds how long it took him to walk her home, so she could rush into her warm home and spend the rest of the night gossiping over the phone with her friends about trivial and materialistic possessions; throwing away the events of the day like a used tissue.

It's not fair.

Broken rubble flew past his cheeks and through his hair from where his fist had slammed into the hard brick wall. It didn't hurt him. He was used to this pain. For four hundred years he had been though pain and torture far worse than a little cut in his skin. He healed quickly anyway. Now he was just numb. But, why? Why did he have to suffer like this? It was all their damn fault. These are the beings so-called God gave freedom and free-will to? He gave them everything, and what do they do with it? They throw it away frivolously on the latest fashions. They ignore those hurt and alone. The being pounded again relentlessly against the already cracked wall, and with inhuman strength, it nearly threatened to collapse on top of him. But he didn't care. It was all he could do to release the fury that raged endlessly within. Why didn't he just kill those humans out there? Simple. He made a promise, one that he would never break. Suddenly, his rage subsided, and the being fell to his knees. His head was lowered with long green strands hiding his face. No one should see him like this, especially his own kind. He was crying. He wouldn't let those filthy humans anywhere near his little one. He is the only one who would protect the little child from those heartless creatures of the light. He wanted so badly to hold the little abomination in his arms. Envy wanted to hold him, just like the couples out there, embracing each other for warmth. Envy wanted that warmth too. "I would never let him go." The being murmured in the back of his throat, "I'm not like them." Envy wanted so badly to feel that long silken black hair sliding through his coarse fingers.

And yet, he can't; because he wasn't like them. He had seen too much horror. He was not worthy to be anywhere near the small child. He didn't want to ever see the boy cry; that was too painful. What makes the humans so special? That child was just as beautiful as them, if not more so, even when he was bouncing around the room and on top of furniture, laughing like a maniac. God, he loved that laugh, so innocent, it made the heart he didn't even know he had pulse inside his chest. He wanted so much to be closer, but he couldn't. He wasn't allowed! Only that soft-spoken Sloth was able to hold him. She was the one the child ran to when he was crying. "I want to be closer to him! I want to be the one he ran to! I want to kiss away the tears that fell from those bright eyes! I want to stare into those innocent amethyst eyes and see the bright stars within them!" Envy collapsed to the cold ground, his hands clenched tightly as they lay pounded against the indented cement walk, as the tears now freely fell down his cheeks.

I want to love too.

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This is a one-shot; my first FMA one. I just had to do a little something with Envy. He is my favorite character in the show. I just have so much respect for him. He may be a sadistic bastard sometimes, but who is to say what he's really thinking in his mind? He is a mysterious character, that's why I love Envy.

Danica Loy signing off, until my next update,

And I hope to have the next chapter of Humans and Beasts finished, hopefully within this month. If my imagination cooperates…until then, Merry Christmas and happy reading!


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